As I end my day at a very early morning time, I get the nervous energy to sleep and be fresh for the day ahead. Unfortunately it’s also increases my anxiety for getting to sleep and ending my day with a million and 1 ideas to be productive in my new life plan. I try and forget my money woes and job that I hate. My dreams take over and I have the perfect plan ….. If only I could be have enough money to pay my bills and live and build my dream career.
Sound familiar, well I have the weirdest dreams with what I call the “seeing from above my body” if anyone can help me here I could use the advise I’m thing astral traveling but not sure.
I am drifting off I think in asleep my eyes are closed but I can see and hear visions clearly as if I’m there. I check and yes my eyes are closed and I’m under the covers, my body is asleep and my brain is not. I can talk and hear everyone around me. I have woken up yelling or asking a question or grabbing for something, yes my dog is very confused. I immediately go back to sleep sometimes for good and sometimes fighting with my other self to shut up and let me sleep. Is the voices that people hear that have altar self?
There is a lot more I could discuss but here it’s 230 in the morning and I want to get up at 5 to begin my morning uber route. This is what I live to do, I want to be my own boss now and work several hours several times a day. I’m meeting people and actually paying attention to my surroundings. I’m shocked at how blind I’ve been to living. Getting up getting dressed up and make up and hair done. I feel alive people have normal conversation with me. I m happy. That is what I want “Happy”.
I will keep trying but I’m so wound up with those million and 1 ideas that I get tins of projects going and don’t finish half because im overwhelmed. And of course there is the real job I still have to go to.
Work-related risk factors for health
Creating a healthy workplace
Supporting people with mental disorders at work
It’s been awhile since I’ve posted. I’m a pretty private person about what I put out there, I’m need very sad, very angry or inspired. Today’s story is about how this Rockstar climbed as hard as I could to the top to find out i still was not good enough.
Somewhere along the line I had Fallen. I’m not sure when it began and I don’t think anybody with manic depressive disorder ever does.
As we go through life everybody has their highs and their lows it’s normal . But for some of us those highs are extremely high, we are invincible, we are strong leaders great teachers and we are very sympathetic to others, but when we are low, we are usually at rock bottom of suicidal.
There wasn’t time to think about how we got that low, we just know we are sad. we think the next day we’re going to be a little better and we think about changing our situation by changing jobs or relationships or by moving. I did all of these and got a promotion! My employer it’s not I got the promotion or kind of I had to take a different shift but I considered it a challenge knowing that third shifts interrupted my sleep and my eating habits but I thought I could handle it at first I was thrilled, the challenges were definitely there, but I wasn’t feeling the happiness that I thought I would the uniform shirt which signified manager wasn’t helping it didn’t make me feel more significant it made me more cautious of how I approach people are what I said to them I didn’t want to seem eager to my peers that I was trying to lead and what I didn’t even realize I was I was already there leader without the shirt that’s why they did respect me because I didn’t show it or active but because I was one of them as a peer and equal. I came in every day and I talked to them and I taught them be patient and explain to them this is what I learned this is how I did this it’s not necessarily what you might have to do but it’s a stepping stone if you like it you can use it. There’s nothing that I would ask my employees to do that I wouldn’t do myself and I live by the philosophy that if they weren’t going to do it when I ask them to getting mad wasn’t the answer I would just do the job for them because I knew my boss expected it to be done when they came in. I got slack for this her mother employees and my bosses but it’s just like your children if you want the room Queen and they won’t do it you get down and you teach them how to do it and then you try to teach them why you do it and you help them do it if it takes a couple days they will help you guys really because they know mommy’s helping them and they just learned that it’s the way it’s supposed to be but not all employees think this way some will join you out of guilt or some will understand the reason you’re helping them and help you and some actually understand the concept. I know I sound like I’m rambling but you’ll find that people like me with this manic depressive bipolar whichever you want to call it we can think of Mile a minute we think so fast that our bodies can always catch up that’s why we’re not always good at conversation but just doing we find ourselves immersed in cleaning and perfection and always trying to stay busy because the world around us is so noisy very judgemental and everybody wants your opinion which then get you into trouble because you speak your mind you’re honest but that’s not what people want to hear is it they want a solution are they want action but they don’t know I just want to know what’s wrong with the situation or where they might be a part of it or they might be able to fix it they just know they don’t want to deal with it and that’s what managers are they manage. 11 years with my company and many years other places in the same situations I’ve had these highs and lows one company actually fired me for being depressed not being happy enough not enjoying my job which I ended up getting workers comp from because employers can’t fire you for being sad but you won’t find them sitting you down and asking you why are you sad do you realize you’re acting different that you’re self-destructing that you’ve use more sick days this month in normally is there something I can help you with. No because that would be something called management with compassion. We can deal with cancer we can deal with diabetes a broken leg but not someone’s mind not their feelings another unstable mannerisms that you yourself don’t understand let alone know sometimes. We don’t want to talk about it we don’t want to come in and tell everyone our problems we all know that one person who comes in every day oh I have this problem at home and I got to do this and I got to do that I don’t have time to study or I don’t have time to clean we listen and walk away we get bored with it it’s the same thing day after day people don’t realize that they’re not the only one with problems they think there’s is the biggest problem in the room. So next time you’re complaining I’ll give you the same advice I give my employees when they want to snap at somebody or say something rude to a customer that’s being rude to them stop count to five slowly and while you’re counting ask yourself is this the most important thing right now that I say or do or how can I refrain the question into a question and not an accusation by the time you tried to do both you’ll think of a better solution
Being at the top of the food chain can be both a great reward or your worst nightmare! Who can relate? I’m the rockstar at my job which means I’m worth the talent and the money they pay me. But, I’m not the actual boss unless I am running the store for them.
Which we all know means when you get a compliment your boss also does, but if it’s one of those days…….. forget it it’s all on you too.
So where do we get a Hell Yeah.? Hopefully we have managers and their managers that compliment us and brag about us at their meetings and mention us to their bosses about the promotion we deserve or at least give us a update on staffing and new items and discontinued items and current events and timely schedules.(At least give me more hours then your other 1 – 2 year employees)
I have 10 years with your company!
I deserve that . Don’t I ?
When I started back in 2008, I didn’t know much about the company it was a job I was on an island I needed work closer to home. U frequented this place regularly, I got to know the manager and i liked him he was strict and also had a sense of humor. Point made.
He convincwd me to start as a server and try it out. Told me I could easily make my 12. 50 hour and not drive 25 miles to work. He was right. I was used to being the boss or the person in charge. It was nice to be front and center in the hustle and bustle of morning breakfast crowds and taking in 5 / 10 dollar tips, best of all i worked 7 hours and brought home about 100 a day. Then I clocked out and enjoyed my sunsets and happy hours to do it again another day.
I was not stressed on paperwork, or my performance, or my clean tidy production line, or coming in behind a dirty cook who does not deserve or respect his job title, and having to clean 2 hours to get it to my standards which by the way, is also the companies.
I can’t for the life of me, figure out why i can’t be a bosses favorite. I’m just not that way. I can’t do something half assed or steal or cheat. I can’t sit and do mothing. I was not raised that way.
If I do not feel well I still push myself and just rest in little intervals. Or I ask off if its that bad. I get migraines regularly from the time I was 15. I know what triggers them, I know how far I can push myself, and if I have enough meds to continue or shut it down. My biggest threat is stress and blood pressure. (funny huh!)
Anyhow, I’m now a rockstar chef now. I’ve earned every ounce of sweat and paid my dues. I have stock in the company. 3 weeks vacation and I wear my uniform proudly. I will become a manager! I may have to struggle a little longer and watch all the new young blood who don’t know how to flip an egg, come in and strut their stuff. But sooner or later the right divisional or regional will see me and realize I’m here to stay.
Thanks for joining me!
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton